Clinging to a Victim Mindset versus Taking Personal Responsibility

In life, we always have a choice in how we respond to situations, even situations that are outside of our control. Our default response could be to play the victim and not take personal responsibility for what we have created in life. But as we gradually evolve, the desire to take personal responsibility becomes more appealing and empowering. You may ask, 'What about other people who may have done negative or harmful things to me?' In this situation, others' actions may be outside our control, but how we respond is always within our control.

I don't like the word 'victim' or identifying with being a victim in life; it often leads to depression and suffering. Our personal circumstances can be viewed from many perspectives; I prefer to take the higher vantage point. It doesn't mean that your life will be perfect, or necessarily the way you want it to be, but by taking responsibility you will feel a lot better about your life.

I truly believe that many of us experience trauma on our Earth journey. However, if you see these as 'lessons' and experiences for the soul's evolution, you can view these traumas in a constructive way. Ask yourself, 'What is this experience teaching me?', 'What do I have to gain from this experience?' Often the hardest challenges we go through in life can propel us forward towards the greatest growth.

I believe we aren't here to suffer unnecessarily; our experiences are there to make us a wiser being. Often, the most evolved souls can choose the hardest paths because they are resilient and have chosen a path of higher spiritual growth. Souls that have chosen on a soul-level to experience illness or disability have often chosen these experiences for accelerated growth.

If we view life as happening to us, we may feel a victim. If we think of life as happening for us, we will likely feel more empowered. How you view your life is your choice, how others view your life is their choice and their reality. What is important is how you view your life and the choices you make. At any decision point, we can choose whether we make a choice coming from either fear or love.

Often, the fears we have are from our traumas, either from this life or past lives. They are opportunities to heal and clear these energies. When we clear and dissolve these fears, it is like letting go, bit by bit, of some of our baggage whereby we begin to feel lighter. If this is something you feel open to or ready to explore, start small. Negative emotions can be overwhelming, so it's important to be gentle with oneself.

Seeking support from a friend or a trained counselor can be helpful and at times necessary. It is by no means a failure to seek outside support. Sometimes, we may need medical help from a doctor if we have a chemical imbalance or mental illness. There is a lot of support out there; the key is taking the first step.

One of the things that helped me with my experience of depression was shifting the way I thought. It was a process of getting out of victim-mentality, and retraining myself to think in a more positive way. I think it was also a matter of accepting my past and bringing my focus to the present. We are all a combination of the totality of our experiences.

Practicing positive affirmations on a regular basis can be a great way to retrain the way you think. By focusing on what you are grateful for and the things we do want, it can really turn our lives around. Breaking the habit of focusing on what we don't want, through instead focusing on what we do want, can take practice and diligence. If you are new to affirmations, listening to an audio recording of positive affirmations online can be a great place to start.

If you practice neutrality and staying in the moment, instead of viewing your experiences as either good or bad, it can help the healing process. We are here in order for our experiences to make us wiser and more balanced. Like in a school, sometimes we need to repeat certain lessons before we can graduate to higher lessons. The important thing is to be open to learning and not be too hard on oneself. All of us can get there in the end.

By Brad Austen © 2021.